It Takes A Village (Or At Least An Inquisition)
by ghirahim
Summary: There was a reason (several reasons) Varric feigned ignorance when Cassandra asked him about Hawke's whereabouts, but with the threat of the end of the world looming overhead he has no choice but to bring the old gang together. Be careful what you ask for, Seeker. The Inquisition isn't and probably will never be ready for Hawke.


Disclaimer: I do not own the Dragon Age series nor do I make money from writing.

A/N: Since Varric never met Bethany, Sunshine is Hawke's predominantly used nickname with Waffles being the other.

* * *

_The Tale of the Champion_ was based on true events, most of which Varric witnessed first-hand, even though his editor told him no one would believe a tiny human female mage could kill a qunari in single combat. Varric couldn't believe it either but he couldn't make that part up if he tried. Well, there was a lot of shit Varric left out of his book that was unbelievable, but Zoe Hawke was the definition of unbelievable – in both the best and worst possible ways.

Varric had to admit the first time he heard about Athenril and her band of small-time smugglers he didn't think much of them. Then all of a sudden after about a year or two of little tidbits of info, there was suddenly influx of information regarding Athenril's smuggling deals and it all centered around someone named Hawke.

The stories Varric heard could go toe-to-toe with some of the most outlandish shit he could come up with but there was always a witness or two willing to confirm the details of the stories.

With everything Varric heard, he assumed the tall brooding man with the long, flowing dark brown hair was this infamous Hawke so imagine his surprise when he was proven wrong. Though, not exactly. _Technically_, they were both Hawke and both infamous and both unusual; however, the stories were almost always about the petite woman with the short, spiky yellow-brown hair.

It was _Hawke This, Hawke That_ for the better part of a year; each story told becoming increasingly erratic in detail. Even before Bartrand's idea of the excursion Varric wanted to meet this Hawke for himself. She sounded like perfect writing material.

The perfect opportunity presented itself when a petty and not very skilled pickpocket managed to snatch Hawke's coin purse. Not one to miss an opportunity to make a flashy entrance, he dealt with the pickpocket and introduced himself to the Hawke siblings.

A small, seemingly nonthreatening woman walking around Kirkwall in broad daylight with a very visible mage staff just so happened to be the type of ballsy motherfucker Varric wanted to immediately be friends with. All the stories and rumors he heard about her were just a bonus.

Hawke had this cheery, charming wit to her and Varric was instantly entranced. Hell, over the years Varric realized he was far from the only one.

Isabela, Merrill, Anders, Sebastian, fuck even _Fenris_ weren't immune to Hawke's charm. In fact, Fenris was clearly the most smitten out of them all (except maybe Varric but that was neither here nor there). Aveline, though, was made of sturdier stuff than the rest of them because she was usually the one to shit all over their fun. Aveline was usually too busy with Guard-Captain duty to hang around them anyway. Which was probably for the best since she definitely would not approve of Hawke's methods. Well, they had Sebastian for the all the Disapproving Parent™ looks anyhow. And Carver before that.

Varric had to admit he was a little pissed when Carver went ahead and joined the templars because Hawke left him out of the Deep Roads expedition. She probably saved his life making that decision because they were wandering around for about two additional days in the Deep Roads after Bartrand locked them in that room. It's a miracle in and of itself none of them contracted the taint dealing with so many fucking darkspawn. (Though, to be honest, Varric isn't one-hundred percent certain _how_ someone contracts the taint. All he knows are the obvious bits: darkspawn/darkspawn blood and shit luck [which they had in spades in the Deep Roads].)

When they got a visit from _a former companion to the Hero Of Fucking Ferelden_ named Sister Leliana talking of an Exalted March, none of them thought it was gonna happen. Qunari terrorized the city-state for _four years_ and no one did anything. Nor was any action taken when a certain Sister turned Mother deliberately picked fights and stirred up shit. Kirkwall's been through worse than the at the time mage and templar feud and Meredith's insistent surge in power. _Then_ Anders went ahead and blew up the fucking chantry several weeks later. Meredith was already bat-shit but that seemed to be reason enough for her to want to pull the Right of Annulment from her back pocket. First Enchanter Orsino who was by far more sane but only in comparison to Meredith, had every reason to react to save himself and his mages though Varric's not sure how or even _why_ the fuck he did what he did the way he did it.

After killing both of them, Hawke figured the aforementioned Exalted March was sure to come now if she stayed so she fled with Carver, Zevran, Isabela, Fenris, and Merrill. (Varric wasn't sure which of the three was sleeping with Hawke because Hawke was always vague in her details and he had to make shit up along the way. Merrill seemed the best choice to put in the books due to their shared innocent looking mage but in reality a stone-cold badass appearance. And Hawke never confirmed nor denied this, so he figured he got it right. Of course, he should've known better. The only thing predictable about Hawke was her unpredictability.) She offered Varric the chance to join them but he declined. Had he known he'd be shoehorned into joining the Inquisition, he would've taken her up on that offer.

One day, nearly a year after "The Incident" as many referred to it as, when he all he wanted to do was curl up with some shitty Hanged Man ale and write until he passed out, the Seekers came looking for him. Well, looking for Hawke since they apparently hadn't heard the news but like the dumbass he was he was the easiest to find.

Seeker Cassandra and Sister Nightingale Leliana cornered and questioned him about Hawke's whereabouts. He wasn't exactly thrilled his second meeting with Leliana was surprisingly even less pleasant than the first. Leliana left them to question Aveline who probably wouldn't be much help since attended to her Guards while the city-state was unraveling around them. And Hawke deliberately left her out of the loop in terms of their escape because Aveline damn near _agreed_ with Meredith's decision to kill all mages (and Varric was sure it wasn't just because she disliked Anders possibly more than Fenris. Which said _a lot_ because Varric has yet to meet two people who mutually hated each other the way Fenris and Anders did, yet they attempted to be sorta civil with each other at Hawke's mabari pup eyes).

That left him with Cassandra who he told Hawke's tale to and took a few liberties to spice things up. (He couldn't give away all his little secrets after all.)

Cassandra sounded halfway in love with Hawke by the end of his story so he figured he was fine. _Then_ she wanted him to go to Haven several days later to repeat this to _The Divine_ Justinia V herself.

Stuck in a rickety boat with a group of templars who wanted to kill him and his friends not even a full year ago and a couple of Seekers who asked for his autograph was a tough spot to find oneself in.

There was a reason he feigned ignorance when Cassandra first asked him about Hawke's whereabouts. _Okay_, there were multiple reasons. Like the second major one was – what the fuck did she even want with Hawke? As far as Varric knew, Hawke didn't even know the Seekers existed. The main reason? Several nights before the Seekers trotted into Kirkwall, he received a letter. He was admittedly embarrassed to admit he didn't know who the hell _Zoe_ was or why she was writing him until he read over the letter _twice_. Obviously, Hawke wouldn't put _Hawke_ in the letter in case someone else got ahold of it. She didn't even use the nickname Varric seldom called her, she didn't use anyone's Varric given nicknames and instead gave them nicknames of her own. During the second reading of the letter he put her nicknames to the faces he remembered.

The letter was asking if Kirkwall was still putting a bounty on her head (well, she used the word ass instead of head) because she was sick of running around Thedas pregnant.

That caused a third reading of the letter because he was certain he was seeing things.

Only Hawke would—no, _could__—_get knocked up on the run. That would've eliminated his Hawke and Merrill getting busy theory had Hawke not stated—no doubt laughing as she wrote it—she was sleeping with Fenris (who got her pregnant), Isabela, _and_ Merrill. So he was a third of the way correct. No one gets everything right all the time. Though he often suspected she slept with all of them at least once the way they were so damn affectionate with one another but Hawke was affectionate with everyone who wasn't trying to kill her, and a few that did, so he dismissed his own theory.

Huh. Now that he thinks about it, Hawke's reply to his letter before leaving Kirkwall is probably still at his room in The Hanged Man.

He's been on a lot of adventures and misadventures with Hawke but Lavellan was just as quirky and charming so he didn't miss Hawke and the others as much as when he went out adventuring and misadventuring with her. The only difference was Lavellan swore in a language Varric couldn't understand and was a lot more angry than cheery. He nicknamed her Bolt because she had a hair-trigger temper that was as quick as her trigger finger. He lost track of the amount of times someone's monologue got cut short because she lodged an arrow or dagger in their throat. Varric thought Sebastian was a scary good marksman but she gave him a run for his money.

Varric didn't know much about Lavellan, she kept to herself mostly possibly due to her "having no time for this shem bullshit" and wanting to get back to her clan as soon as possible. Solas often sought her out, Varric suspected it wasn't just because of he was "drawn to her mark" but drawn slash attracted to her in general. But with the way he insulted the Dalish at every breath it wasn't any wonder she wasn't his biggest fan.

Like the two elves Varric's accompanied in his Kirkwall days, Lavellan didn't take to footwear. Even in Haven's snow. The other elves looked at her like she was out of her mind but because she was Dalish _and The Herald of Andraste_ they kept their distance.

Sera also kept her distance because Lavellan was "too elfy" for her liking but they weren't at each other's throats the way Sera was with Solas. Which was odd because they both apparently hated the Dalish so you'd think that would be a bonding experience.

What was most surprising was the one person Lavellan didn't seem to tolerate solely due to proximity and Haven's lack of good hiding spaces was Vivienne. It was through Vivienne that Varric learned Lavellan had a twin sister who almost went to the Conclave with her but got sick the night before and was forced to stay with the clan to recover. Varric shudders to think what would've happened if Lavellan's twin got caught in the explosion.

Despite her clan dealing with humans far more than other clans, Lavellan was still distrustful and outright unimpressed with the lot of them. Another surprise was her hanging out with Blackwall on occasion. But Varric figured two loners would inevitably flock together. The other humans though? She usually avoided. Except for Josephine because, really, who didn't like her? But still, she was polite with Josephine but wasn't generally around her unless they had business. Same thing with Cassandra, but there's a mutual level of respect there buried in between all the headbutting. And there was _a lot_ of headbutting between the two. Though Cassandra had the tendency to headbutt both figuratively and literally with just about everyone.

Even though he flat out told them he was a spy, Lavellan seemed to trust Iron Bull more than she did anyone swearing loyalty to her. Varric has his reservations but that's only because well Bull is (also) a spy and his unresolved issues with the qunari who invaded Kirkwall all those years ago. As far as spies went, Bull was clearly one of the best because you'd take one look at him and not even assume he was one – which was just about the best thing for a spy. Varric would know because he's technically a spy too.

With their shared penchant for hiding, Lavellan got along well with Cole which Vivienne didn't like but never called her out on it, after the initial time when they first arrived in Skyhold.

None of them knew Dorian well enough _yet_ so there couldn't be anything said about that. Though from what he told them about the whole traveling to the near future bit, he and Lavellan did build a bit of a rapport.

Skyhold was a lot bigger than Haven and thus had more hiding spaces. When they made Lavellan Inquisitor, she begrudgingly accepted but didn't act any differently than she had in Haven. It reminded him of Hawke, after she became Champion she didn't change. Varric's met a lot of people who got a swelled head after receiving a title but not those two.

After a short speech about dealing with Corypheus because no one else would slash could, it dawned on Varric that he dealt with Corypheus before. It hadn't clicked when they were fighting or fleeing for their lives from the bitching archdemon Iron Bull practically had an orgasm over, but it did during the speech.

Then it occurred to him that he'd never get Hawke's reply to his latest message with Haven going up in flames.

He wrote Hawke because if the world was going tits up Skyhold would be the safest place for her. And he never thought he'd be the one needing to worry about Hawke's safety when she took down an actual dragon, practically by herself as Anders was healing the rest of them, with force magic and a shit-ton of lightning.

If Skyhold wasn't full of surprises already, Lavellan's twin showed up one day out of the blue. (Maybe not out of the blue completely but out of the blue to him who usually kept up with the going ons around their new base.) They were identical in every way with the exception of their vallaslin and their eye color. Lavellan's vallaslin was the same bright purple of her eyes whereas her sister's vallaslin was black and her eyes were dark brown, almost reddish. Because he wanted to know more about Lavellan he asked about their vallaslin, her twin – who he nicknamed Bliss due to her stark contrast in personality to her twin – told him hers was Sylaise while her twin was of Elgar'nan. And because he didn't know jack shit about Elven pantheon she tells him all about it and her storytelling slash embellishment abilities rival his.

"You know that scar my sister has that runs down her left eye? A human merchant gave it to her. He thought she was stealing because _you just can't trust those knife-ears_ and he took out a blade and lunged!"

Varric winces, "but Bolt's the quickest thing I've seen! There's no way she wouldn't've dodged it!"

Bliss shakes her head, "this was _before_, Varric. Before! She wasn't that good of a hunter and was a terribly late bloomer."

"Okay. Fine. Then what happened to the merchant?"

"Oh. I killed him." Varric does a double take, "you really expected me to let some shem cut up my sister's face and let him live to tell? Of course, Keeper Deshanna was pissed. _We're not here to fight with the shems, da'len_." Bliss rolls her eyes, "tell that to them."

"Okay. Okay. What happened to the merchant's goods?"

"We took them." Varric laughs, "what? They were just going to rot in his cart. I threw her in the cart and pulled it back to our camp. I didn't know any healing spells at the time so I just put a cloth over her eye and made her hold it down to stop the bleeding. Eventually we traded the goods we didn't need to some other human merchants."

"Alright, Bliss, I'm calling bullshit."

The blonde mock gasps, "why Serah, I'm shocked you'd say so."

"Come on! There's no way that can be true!"

"It was." She nods, "absolutely."

"You're only saying so because you know Bolt won't tell me either way." She chuckles, "fine, keep me guessing and tell me another story about your sister's scars. The more insane, the better."

"Uh, Serah Tethras?" A human guard stops in front of them, hesitant, shifting from one foot to the other. They're sitting in Herald's Rest which is surprisingly empty for mid-day. "T-There's a woman by the main gate asking for you? S-Seeker Cassandra says we can't afford to let a-anyone in without verification."

"What's that mean?"

"It means there are so many people here trying to sneak a glimpse at Bolt in all her Andraste given glory."

Bliss wrinkles her nose. "I'm pretty sure Mythal is responsible for that." She shrugs, "but whatever. I sometimes mix up our Creators' names too." Varric barks out a laugh as he stands up.

"C'mon, Bliss, let's see why anyone's asking about _me_ of all people."

"Maybe your autograph for one of your books?"

It wouldn't be the first time someone came to Skyhold explicitly to get his autograph for _The Tale Of The Champion_, or even _Hard In Hightown_. Though they subsequently stayed to help with the efforts of kicking Corypheus' ass.

When they arrive at the gate Varric has to do a double take at the group of people standing there. Hawke he recognizes easily which is amazing because her hair is much longer and a completely different color. Fenris is also easy to spot due to his markings though his hair is a lot shorter than it was almost two years ago. Merrill's hair, like Hawke's, is two maybe even three times longer and a different color though her hair is in a braid covered in daisies. Varric only recognized Isabela due to the large hat on her head, and the tunic she's wearing is all black but identical to the white one she had in Kirkwall. Carver's hair got longer but that expression on his face made him easy to identify too. The other elf he only vaguely sees some familiarity in must be Zevran but Varric doesn't quite remember what he looks like not covered in someone else's blood.

"Varric!" They all cheer running toward him. Surprisingly, even Carver looks less pissed than usual to see him.

Varric gets six individual hugs and a big ass group hug. Carver hugging him isn't as big a surprise as _Fenris_ hugging him, but Hawke and Merrill must've rubbed off on him in more ways than the literal.

Once the hugs are out of the way, Varric stares at Hawke's stomach which for him at eye level. There's a noticeable bump which makes his eyes widen. "I-I—"

"Imagine that, Varric Tethras at a loss for words." Carver says folding his arms over his chest, "we should celebrate the occasion. Who is your smiling friend?"

"Ah, yes. You told us the Inquisitor is Dalish too." Merrill cheerfully bounces over to Bliss, "aneth ara, Lethallen."

"Aneth ara." Bliss replies equally cheerful, "but I'm not the Inquisitor. She's my twin sister."

"You two stayed within the same clan?"

"Rare as that sounds. I was Keeper Deshanna's first so yeah we did."

"She's _adorable_!" Hawke coos hugging her. "Is the Inquisitor just as adorable?"

"Only physically I'm afraid." Huh. Now that Varric thinks about it, Bolt reminds him of Fenris more so than Hawke. And that's not an easy comparison to make. As if developing mind reading capabilities in the time they've spent apart, Fenris narrows his eyes at Varric who quickly looks away. "She's most likely butchering the training dummies, so I'll take you guys to meet her."

"Uh, Serah Tethras—"

"It's alright, kid, they're with me. I'll vouch for them." The guard timidly nods as if he's the one Cassandra's gonna kill for lying to her face. Though, if one were counting, Varric truly didn't know Hawke's _exact_ whereabouts just the general idea so that constitutes as a half-lie at best. He doubts Cassandra will see it that way but why not give it a shot?

Bolt is brutally massacring the training dummies faster than the soldiers can patch them back up. Iron Bull's leaning against the tree, he pushes himself off and walks toward the group holding out a hand stopping them. "Yeah, now's probably not the best time to interrupt the Boss." She pulls the sword out of the training dummy and its stuffing sadly leaks out of it.

"You're taking this bodyguard role very seriously, Tiny."

"It's what I signed up for. Besides, with everyone worshiping her from afar, don't see anyone lining up to watch her back." Because Bliss is just as slippery as her sister, she sneaks past Iron Bull before he could stop her. "_Hey_! Damn speedy little elves." He grumbles.

Bolt doesn't seem pissed at the interruption, though Varric would wager it's because it's her (slightly older – according to both of them) twin who did the interrupting. When Cullen tried getting her attention while she was training, she flipped him over her body and pinned a dagger to his throat. But the blond was at fault for approaching an armed elf clearly distrustful of her entire situation after having been framed one minute then revered in the next. Of course, with Cullen's very vocal dislike slash distrust of mages, he smartly keeps his distance from Bolt.

Then again, everyone who hates or distrusts mages slash magic wisely holds their tongue in Bolt's presence. Except Vivienne but with her it comes from a place of experience Bolt understands.

You know, that might be the reason they get along so well.

Another is that they're both scary as hell.

Despite the absurdity of the templar situation at Val Royeaux, Bolt wanted to check out the mages at Redcliffe. And despite the advisers plus Cassandra having mixed feelings about the whole thing, saving the mages from servitude under the Tevinter Imperium hands down beat whatever shit the templars got themselves into. And according to Barris, the lone ex-templar who survived the ordeal when Bull's Chargers went there to check out the carnage, everything the templars went through was self-inflicted by their leaders; starting with that annoying snooty Lord Seeker being an Envy Demon in disguise.

That must've been why he was such an asshole. Then again, ninety-nine percent of templars Varric met were assholes by design. Probably a prerequisite to joining the order.

The twins are fiercely whispering to each other with their backs turned. To distinguish themselves, because Bliss told him a lot of people have come up to her offering her praise lately, the Inquisitor had her hair tied in a series of intricate braids that all seemed to wrap together whereas her twin had her long wavy hair flowing freely. Naturally, and to the surprise of neither twin, people still had them confused. The only way people truly knew which elf they were talking to was to look at their left hand; if it glowed and crackled violently it was a clear indicator you were talking to the Inquisitor.

Eventually the whispering stopped and the twins turn to the group. Bolt blows out a breath and with a practiced monotone voice she recites, "andaran atish'an, welcome to Skyhold."

"Aneth ara!" Merrill greets clasping both Bolt's hands in hers, "it's so good to meet another one of the people." Varric notes the exact moment Bolt notices Merrill's vallasin because she gives the brunette a rare albeit small smile and nod.

"You know you got exiled from—" Isabela and Hawke both clamp their hands over Fenris' mouth. Waving the twins off when they look their way.

"Ignore him. He's a little grumpy from all the traveling." Fenris mutters something but his mouth is still covered.

"Okay. Now that I have you all here I gotta ask: Was Blondie ever part of this little group activity you four have going on?"

"That certainly would've been fun." Isabela chuckles though the other three simply stare at her. Which is a bit hilarious since she and Hawke are still covering Fenris' mouth, "or was I the only one thinking that?" She shrugs, "honestly Varric, do you really think Anders would've been so damn cranky all the time if he were getting sex regularly? I mean, just think about Aveline for Maker's sake! Although she was still cranky after she and Donnic got together. If possible, she might've been even crankier."

"If that were the case, not with Aveline but with Anders, maybe we should've invited him along?" Merrill muses.

At Fenris' mumbling, Isabela and Hawke finally move their hands, "I think he was too far gone the moment we all got together."

"Maybe you're right." Hawke sighs, "I do wish there was something we could've done for him."

"You spared his life when you should've killed him; I don't know what else you wanted to do, Hawke."

"I'm tempted to cover your mouth again." Isabela warns, "and not in the sexy way."

"Ooh." Merrill holds up Bolt's glowing left hand, "didn't notice that before." The others crowd around her hand then all turn to Varric.

"_I_ had nothing to do with that!"

"You never mentioned a glowing hand in your letters, Dwarf." Fenris says then his whole body basically lights up.

"_Ooh_. That's new too."

"Is that _lyrium_ etched in your skin?" Bliss asks. "Didn't that hurt?"

"Immensely."

"He didn't have a—" Merrill pauses, "oh. Uh. Hm. What matters is yes it's lyrium and yes it hurt." Fenris shakes his head. "This magic feels ancient like something from our people long, long ago. That's probably why Fenris is reacting to it. It's not like the normal magic he's used to."

"Considering he's sandwiched between two mages, he's definitely used to all kinds of magic." Varric says with a smirk. "You know what I don't get. I understand we all love Hawke but—" He gestures between Fenris and Merrill, "how the fuck did that happen? Last I checked you two couldn't stand each other, or at the very least Fenris didn't like Daisy." They exchange a glance. Varric's writing senses are tingling with that look.

Hawke leans down to his ear, "it's killing you, isn't it?" She whispers.

"You know it is, Sunshine!"

Hawke laughs as she stands up straight. "I need something to eat." She whistles and the damn mabari barrels over several guards before merrily bouncing over to her like it didn't just trample several people. Furthermore, Varric didn't think it possible but the slobbering beast got _bigger_. "Next time you wanna hide away in a fortress, Tethras, make it one that's easier to find?"

"That defeats the purpose, doesn't it? And I thought the cold was nothing to a Ferelden?"

"Who said anything about being cold?" She takes a deep breath, "this is my kind of weather."

"If you love this, you would've loved Haven."

"Haven?" Everyone turns to Zevran who furrows his eyebrows. Huh. Varric forgot about him for a second with him not saying anything in the past ten minutes, "was there not a cult there?"

"Cult?" Bolt repeats, "that explains so much—"

"Personally, this is the first I'm hearing of any cult; although their worshiping of Bolt could be seen as cult-_like_."

"Inquisitor, I—" Leliana does a double take and immediately stops walking, "Zevran? Isabela?"

"Nightingale!" Isabela runs over to her and hugs the stunned orange-haired woman, then Zevran joins in on the hug.

"It is wonderful to see you, amiga."

"Oh. I remember you." Merrill says, "she was blushing when Isabela hugged her last time too."

Once released, Leliana wills away her blush with a forced cough. "It is good seeing you as well, Zevran." She looks around, "I-I thought—" Zevran shakes her head. "Oh. I see." She clears her throat, "Inquisitor, there's an urgent matter that needs your attention."

"How 'urgent' are we talking?"

"Vivienne has put in a requisition for your throne and it's been set up."

"Throne, what fucking throne?"

"You never saw that big ugly chair at the end of the entryway? Well, I guess if you had you wouldn't be asking." Bliss' eyes widen, and Varric has to wonder the real story behind them both having the same scar running down the same eye. "Ooh. I have an idea~" She sing-songs then whispers to her sister. When she's done whispering her twin shrugs. "What's the urgent matter?"

Leliana looks between the twins, "Gereon Alexius is ready for judgement."

Bliss hooks her arm in Leliana's, "then let's go."

"Wait!" She drags Leliana back to the building, the others shrug then follow behind.

...

Bliss struts over to the throne, to the awe of the forming crowd, and plops down. Bolt also makes her way to the throne but stands behind the left side of the throne and Josephine is already in front on the right side. Two Inquisition agents are dragging Alexius past the crowd to the foot of the throne. "Gereon Alexius." Josephine announces, "you stand charged for apostasy, attempted enslavement of the former Circle mages of Ferelden, and…" Josephine grimaces, "the attempted assassination of our Inquisitor." Josephine turns to the throne, "what is your judgment, Inquisitor?"

"Do I have options or am I coming up with something on my own?"

"Hmmm, let's see. I can come up with a few things. Due to the nature of the crimes you can execute him—"

"Too harsh."

"You can imprison him?"

"Nah. Too easy."

"Do whatever you want to me." Alexius interrupts morosely, "I couldn't save Felix. My life doesn't matter."

"Did you really think some giant preachy Darkspawn was gonna help save your son?" Bolt asks, leaning against the chair. Alexius looks up at Bliss then furrows his eyebrows and looks over at Bolt.

"Oh great. Two of you." He sighs, "on second thought, I wouldn't mind getting executed."

Bliss' sinister promising slightly manic smile reminds Varric that they very much are identical twins. The first time he saw Bolt with that exact smile she single-handedly took down a great bear while he, Solas, and Blackwall watched in a mixture of horror and awe, "you think I'm gonna let you take the easy route? Nu-uh. You're gonna tell us everything you know about Corypheus, his lackeys, his plans, and your crazy-ass time magic until I deem you are no longer necessary. Fiona." The aforementioned woman startles but approaches the throne. Bliss gestures to Alexius, "your latest charge. Gereon Alexius, I sentence you to work for the Inquisition under the former Grand Enchanter."

There's a loud whistle among the murmuring of the crowd. Not only is it a crowd of random, nameless nobles and worshipers but the Inner Circle minus the newly recruited (Dorian and Cole) are standing together by the undercroft door.

The agents scoop Alexius up and drag him away with Fiona inclining her head at Bliss in thanks before following after them.

The crowd begins to disperse and Josephine sighs approaching the throne, "I'm afraid that was just the beginning of—" She trails off, staring at the twin in the chair then the one beside it then does a double take, "_ah_. I-I can't believe I mistook you for the Inquisitor." She shakes her head.

"Anyone would need a second glance, Josie, they are identical after all." Leliana replies approaching the throne, "and I believe we have a solution to whenever we need the Inquisitor to be in two places at once."

"Let her do all the killing and I'll do the personable stuff."

"Sounds like a fair trade to me."

Josephine massages her temples. "I should've known something was amiss when she passed on the execution option."

"Contrary to what you may think, Ambassador, I wouldn't've executed a man driven to extremes to save an ailing family member."

"My dear, that was noble albeit foolish of you to allow that man to continue living." Vivienne comes up to the throne and gently pulls Bliss to her feet, "there is nothing worse than a man with nothing to lose. Who is to say he won't attempt to sabotage the Inquisition from within?"

"He won't if we can find a way to heal Felix."

An amused smirk works its way to Vivienne's lips despite herself. "I understand we are in the process of working miracles, my dear, but curing the taint might be beyond our power."

"I couldn't help overhearing your problem." Everyone turns to Fiona who is standing at the foot of the throne, "I know of a way to help Felix, in a matter of speaking."

Vivienne looks her over. "Does it have anything to do with condemning more mages under your care?"

Fiona winces, "I deserved that." She takes a deep breath, "I'm talking about taking Felix to the Grey Wardens."

Merrill frowns, "a member of my clan contracted the taint through an eluvian—"

"That broken mirror you kept in your house for six years?" Hawke asks and Merrill pointedly ignores her.

"When the human Grey Warden took her from us and made her do some ceremony, she died during it. What makes you think this Felix won't die too?"

"He's already dying." Fiona replies evenly, "the ceremony will either expedite the process or slow it, but he'll die either way eventually."

"Grim." Isabela mutters. "Are all Grey Wardens like this? Is that why Anders was such a drag?"

"I believe it was the constant abuse of the templars that made Anders 'a drag' as you so eloquently put it, Bela."

"I thought the Grey Wardens were disappearing all over Thedas?" Carver asks. "Is that not what Varric's letter said? Surely Felix will die before you find them."

"_Oh_!" Varric snaps his fingers, "I almost forgot. Alistair, that Grey Warden slash almost prince we met in Kirkwall before the whole Arishok battle?"

Iron Bull raises a hand. "Yeah, I have some questions about that."

"And all will be revealed later. Anyway, blond Grey Warden who wasn't as brooding as this one—" He points at Fiona, "or Blondie?" Hawke nods slowly. "I wrote to him about Corypheus and the disappearing Wardens. If anyone should know about Corypheus it should be the sons of bitches that set him free in the first place. If I ever see that Larius again—"

"Cassandra really is going to kill you." Leliana mutters. "If not for this—" She gestures to Hawke and her entourage, "then certainly for what you just said."

"I have a bad memory, so sue me."

Varric walks backwards until he bumps into Cassandra glaring down at him. "It was a pleasure, Serah Tethras. Truly." Hawke salutes and the others mimic the motion. "Bards will sing songs about your bravery."

He shoots Hawke a dirty look before looking up at Cassandra. "Uh, _hi_, Seeker—"

"Zip it, Dwarf, I will deal with you later." She looks at both twins then massages her temples, "to whichever one of you is the Inquisitor, if we are going on random goose hunts then might I suggest searching for the Seekers? If what Barris told us is even remotely true they are still out there."

Bolt folds her arms over her chest, "agreed. Anyone willing to swap places with an Envy Demon to leave their whole organization to die shouldn't be left around wandering."

"Or left alive. Put a team together and get started on searching." Bliss finishes.

Cassandra looks between both of them and slowly nods, then she hauls up Varric by the throat raising him to her eye level. "If that black-haired woman is who I think she is, you've had a damn good reason for keeping her hidden but if I ever find out you lie to me or the Inquisition again, I will personally end you." Then she drops him and storms off.

"I say you got off pretty good there, buddy." Iron Bull says pulling Varric to his feet and slapping him on the back.

...

Carver went to the deep roads – the second time, because the dwarves and Grey Wardens under Corypheus' control wanted his blood too. Him and Hawke being siblings and whatnot. With everyone collectively protesting Hawke climbing the uneven, unsteady steps of the battlements, it was Carver who went with Varric to meet Alistair.

The same unlucky guard who notified Varric of Hawke's arrival, lead Alistair to the top of the battlements then promptly fled.

Alistair is sitting on a ledge swinging his legs, "Varric! Good seeing you again."

"Likewise." Hm. He hadn't been around Alistair long enough to give him a nickname but if they're gonna be spending time together trying to find out what the hell happened to the Wardens and what to do about the proverbial pain in the ass otherwise known as Corypheus, he was gonna need a nickname.

"Okay, so—" He hops down in front of them. "After you told me about the whole evil controller of the Grey Wardens, I tried to ask around. The Orleasian Warden-Commander, Clarel, not only knew about Corypheus but was mentored by someone who tried resurrecting him. But that was only the beginning of the fun. Some flashy Tevinter mage must've whispered in her ear that Corypheus was a key part in ending blights forever. When Velanna and I tried protesting this we were branded as traitors and fled. Taking on the entire order with just one other Warden who wasn't as insane as the rest? Not good odds and I helped end the fifth blight, so I know about terrible odds!"

Carver looks him over. "Wait, you helped end the fifth blight?"

Alistair sighs, "yup. I know I'm not nearly as popular or well-known as Ro—_The Hero of Ferelden_ but I was there. I believe I'm better known as the second Grey Warden. Bastard son of King Maric and half-brother of King Cailan?"

"_Right_!" Carver snaps his fingers together, and Varric nods in recognition.

"Right. Anyway, I received a letter from Sigrun, Ferelden's Warden-Commander, around the same time I got your letter. She's gonna meet us at Crestwood, Velanna already went on ahead there. We were hoping Hawke would join us?"

Varric shakes his head. "Yeah, no. Hawke's not gonna be able to."

"But if you need a Hawke so badly, I'm available."

Alistair blinks at him, "right, um. Who are you exactly?"

Carver sighs.

...

There wasn't a lot Varric kept from Hawke. The things he could think of off the top of his head were Bianca's namesake – which Hawke never asked him about. Given how she named almost all the weapons she found slash used she wouldn't question any other weapon's name. His parents – something else Hawke never asked about and given the nature of her relationship with her parents Varric couldn't blame her. Varric didn't know Leandra well but the way she took to blaming her eldest child at every given opportunity was a telltale sign that maybe he didn't want to know her. And after her death, he realized he'd never get the chance. He's still not sure how he feels about that. Her death, no matter her personality or relationship to her children, was one of the most gruesome deaths Varric had the displeasure of witnessing. What's worse was it could've entirely been avoided had Aveline took Emeric seriously. The rest of them did and they weren't even in the Guard. Aveline's behavior regarding the whole ordeal had Hawke including her less and less into their misadventures after she became Champion.

But squirreling Blondie away at Skyhold was bound to get mixed reactions from his friends and Inquisition co-workers. The guy blew up a Chantry after all and the majority of the Inquisition were extremely devout. They had to be to worship a Dalish elf who didn't believe in the religious figure she was claimed to be a messenger for.

He wrote Anders prior to Haven's destruction, so naturally he'd arrive before he wrote Hawke telling her to come. Varric mostly kept up with "The Kirkwall Gang," even Aveline but he'd never tell Hawke that, and it was Anders who told him about the Grey Warden disappearances and the phony calling they were hearing well before the Inquisition caught wind of it.

The only reason Anders himself was immune was because he was still merged with Justice, and it was surprising it was the spirit that kept him level-headed when it drove him to extremes during his time in Kirkwall. But the less Varric knew about spirits, the better.

Blondie shaved off most of his flowy blond hair and was actually clean shaven for once. All in all, he looked like a completely different person. With the wanted posters of the scraggly blond apostate (though as Solas once said technically _all_ mages are apostates with the Circles being disbanded), Varric's not surprised he changed things up.

Anders looks out the window which just adds to his brooding aura, and to think Varric nearly nicknamed Fenris _Broody_. Fenris wasn't even in Anders league when it came to broodiness or Carver's, but it was most likely Fenris' dry humor and blunt nature that made him seem the broodiest. "I think I'd like to see Hawke."

"You're just asking for trouble, Blondie. Her entire harem is hovering around her."

"When I have ever caused trouble, Varric?" Varric shoots him a flat look. "At the very least, I'd like to congratulate her."

"So you've heard?"

Anders smiles, "who hasn't? If there's one thing people in an enclosed space love to do it's talk. It's ridiculous that I'm this happy for her. She rejected me and I'm happy she's having a baby with someone I couldn't stand. I really have lost it, haven't I?" Varric nods. "Oh well. I'd love to deliver a half-elf baby. Never done that before."

Since Anders' arrival, Varric's been carrying up twice the amount of food he'd normally eat to his room instead of eating at Herald's Rest or in the kitchen with the cooks.

It's no real surprise Iron Bull is waiting by his door when he returns. "Does the boss know who you got stashed in there?"

"Actually, she does."

Iron Bull folds his arms over his chest, "that's a surprise."

"You really think Bolt cares about the Chantry? You remember she told that chancellor to go—_ah_, no. You weren't there when that happened. Anyway, she said if he's willing to help then he's got just as much right to be here as anyone else."

"Ah. Then you're hiding him from Hawke. Makes sense."

"Not for the reason you think, Tiny. Hawke was never devout. The Chantry has this thing about mages. Really iffy."

"Yeah, I know. So, tell me why you're hiding him from Hawke?"

"Who are you hiding from Hawke?" Varric whips around nearly dropping his food as he turns to Merrill "Ooh. I bet it's Anders, isn't it? It is, right? Can we see him? Why are you hiding him?"

Varric sighs then half an hour later, Merrill brings Hawke, Fenris, Isabela, Carver, Zevran, and Bliss to his room. And Iron Bull, standing against the wall smiling smugly – the asshole, is still here.

"I-I don't know what to say."

"How about you start by asking what the fuck was he thinking blowing up a chantry!?"

"You weren't there, Carver, you don't understand."

Carver snorts. "Then by all means, elaborate."

"The whatever her name was wasn't doing much if anything at all about all the drama Meredith created. You'd know a little something about that, wouldn't you Mr. Former Templar?" Carver glares at her. "What was Anders supposed to do when the city was unraveling around him, taking along innocents?"

"There had to have been something else he could've done."

"I've tried." Hawke and Carver turn to Anders, "no one listened. They thought I was out of my mind."

"To be fair..." Fenris interrupts, "you literally were out of your mind."

"Oh how I missed you, Fenris."

"Ah, yes. The feeling is mutual."

"So much tension…" Isabela mutters to Hawke who elbows her in the arm.

"Don't worry about it, Anders. If anyone comes for you just tell them my sister personally requested you. That'll shut them up."

"You really think that'll work?" He asks.

"You think anyone will question The Herald of Andraste?" She counters.

"Good point."


End file.
